Thursday, July 24, 2014

Color my Inbox?

zkriesse:

Deep Red - I’m in love with you.

Red - I love you.

Pink - I think you’re cute.

Blue - You’re amazing.

Rose - You’re pretty

Purple - You’re hot.

Plum - I would sex you.

Violet - I would date you.
Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours.

Lavender - You are my tumblr crush.

Orange - I want to get to know you.

Tangerine - We have a lot in common.

Amber - I wish you would notice me.

Cream - I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.

It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So, you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America.

Violet Rose (via c-icatrix)

This is one of my favorite quotes about sexualization/objectification vs autonomy of female bodies bc it’s so succinct

(via platonicsbeforeerotics)

(Source: screamingfemale)

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

wheatdealer:

celsisus:

When ur hair won’t listen to you and its a mess and ur just like ???? I grew you myself??? I gave you life and this is how you repay me??

is that how parents feel

niggawitdreadz:

toohot-tohoot:

niggawitdreadz:

How to spoon:

  • Dick hard on the butt
  • Titty in my hand
  • Kiss ya neck
  • Hell yeah
What

HOW TO SPOON

  • DICK HARD ON THE BUTT
  • TITTY IN MY HAND
  • KISS YA NECK
  • H E L L Y E A H

(Source: kegelgod)

sniffing:

this could be us but you playin

image

  • Ignorant Asshole: I hate fags. Being gay is unnatural. It goes against God!
  • Me: GOD DESIGNED MEN WITH THEIR BIGGEST PLEASURE CENTRE IN THEIR ASSHOLES. GOD LITERALLY DESIGNED YOU TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS IF YOU WANT TO FEEL REALLY GOOD. YOU FUCKWAD.
  • Ignorant Asshole: ......... *walks away*

waitinforthebus:

when life gets tough give it a “wawaweewa” and make a motion that seems silly and spontaneous to you. it probably won’t work at making your life any easier but at least someone might see you do it and feel better about themselves. don’t be so selfish. 

uusui:

c0rnmuffins:

uusui:

emma-relille-tunger:

uusui:

iceland is scary

are those giant marshmallows

we icelandic people harvest marshmallows, its the only thing that keeps us alive and healthy, every full moon the icelandic marshmallow god demands tons of giant marshmallows to be made in his honor, later these marshmallows gained its own consciousness and has been roaming around icelandic farms since then, so whenever you drive around iceland you will see these mysterious giant marshmallows in their natural habitat

Seriously though what the fuck are those

we icelandic people harvest marshmallows, its the only thing that keeps us alive and healthy, every full moon the icelandic marshmallow god demands tons of giant marshmallows to be made in his honor, later these marshmallows gained its own consciousness and has been roaming around icelandic farms since then, so whenever you drive around iceland you will see these mysterious giant marshmallows in their natural habitat